As I write this, my three year old is sobbing and my 20 month old is screaming. They are mad at me. Mad. I'm speaking in my calm, rational voice. I'm stroking foreheads and playing calming music.
They are having none of it. No matter how sweet and nice I act, they are furious. Furious at me and furious at the activity.
I wish, I wish, that after lunch, someone put me in a comfortable place in a quiet room. I would adore a break in the middle of the day to do nothing. Can you imagine? Nothing. If I fell asleep it would be great, but if I didn't, I could just lay back and let the music wash over me. I could take a book to that comfortable place if I wanted, a warm blanket to cuddle.
How do my girls not understand this?
I almost never have the option of sitting and relaxing while they're napping, let alone closing my own eyes. Naptime is for dinner preparation, chores that they can't be involved in, writing, organizing, cleaning...my list goes on and on. Sure, I can enjoy the quiet, and I love to make a cup of tea and watch bad reality TV while I do my chores, but I don't get to lie down. To snuggle under a blanket with a book and drift off.
I know they're tired. They barely kept their eyes open on the drive home from our playdate this morning. They were getting crabby during lunch. A good rest would take us from tears and tantrums to giggles and games.
And they've fought me every inch of the day. Every moment of the diaper change. Every step of using the potty. Noooooooooooo.....don't put me in my bed! Noooooooo....don't lay me down! Noooooooooo....I don't want that book!
Books, binkies and blankets have been violently thrown. No monitors are necessary, since the yelling and crying makes it clear they aren't sleeping.
I don't understand this.
What do they think they're missing?
Cleaning? Bad TV? Mommy focusing on her laptop?
I'm not watching Sofia the First. I'm not playing with the puzzles. I'm not eating snacks (ok, most of the time I'm not eating snacks). There is no toddler fun happening right now!
I know that someday, when they're busy with school and activities and college and jobs and kids of their own, they'll become desperate for those midday breaks again. And reminding them that they once had that opportunity and screamed their protests won't help them any then, just like telling them this will happen won't help me now.
Right now, the only thing I want to say is,
Just. Close. Your. Eyes.
Or if you won't, let me take your place. I'll do it gladly.