I love living and knowing that I have a pause button.
There are two places that I love to reference when it comes to hitting the pause button. One, of course, is the fabulous Parenting, Illustrated with Crappy Pictures. Amber is not shy at all about hitting the pause button and living her life offline from time to time. Of course, she is a huge blogger with two published books, and thousands upon thousands of dedicated fans, and I am ME, but no matter who you are, the pause button is an effective one to have in your life.
The other is the show How I Met Your Mother. If you're not familiar, first, go directly to Netflix and start binge watching it. Second, to understand this concept, in the show two of the main characters have a system where they can pause an argument at any time, giving them a break. You can go out to dinner, you can hang out with your friends, you can have fun, and then, when you've got the time and energy to focus on whatever it is you're wrestling with, you agree to unpause.
Good system, right?
Over the past month, I've been in a state of perpetual pause with this site. Our summer life has been busy, and I really wanted to focus on living it. I wanted to hang out at the pool. I wanted to get a chance to play tennis. I wanted to let the girls do all the activities they wanted to. I wanted to use my afternoon that the sitter comes to get a pedicure, go shopping, and relax. Writing and editing this site isn't exactly an argument I'm trying to get away from, but it is something that requires my time and energy. And, while I'm writing, my full attention.
I needed to make a decision. Keep writing with a mind that wasn't entirely focused, putting out content that was of questionable quality, or hit pause.
I hit pause.
I decided not to make a big deal about it. I kept posting on Facebook and Instagram (albeit a bit more lightly). But I didn't make any sort of announcement. I stepped back, I took a breath, and I hit pause.
Was it a decision with no consequences? I'm not sure. If I'm not writing, you're not reading. And if you're not reading, no one is here. I could very well be unpausing to an empty room. Will everyone come back now that I've decided to unpause? I don't know. I hope so. I'm actually hoping that I wasn't the only one who put a pause on certain activities this summer. But I may have lost some readers, and I need to be OK with that. I think I am.
Pausing for July also meant that I didn't get to share some really great things. Madison turned five. FIVE. Remember the second post I ever wrote here? She turned two. I had a baby - two babies really - when I started writing, and now I have a kid. Not a toddler, not even a preschooler, but school aged kid. That's big.
I had my second summer trip to Blogger Bash in NYC, and the irony of talking up my blog to numerous brands while I knew I was on pause was not lost on me. Best time to be taking a break? Maybe not.
We finished our first year of competition dance, switched studios, and decided to dive more deeply in. We agreed to let Madison start private lessons, and to compete a solo this year. We decided on a preschool for Reagan, and we've started preparing for that. I'm attempting to declutter a bit. I'm working on new ways to get organized, get focused...in September.
We're busy now, but we're summer busy. Lazy busy. Busy with pool time and popsicles and tennis and dance and gymnastics and eating outside and seeing friends. Busy with two kids who are growing up and coming into their own. As July turns to August, our summer activities calm down and we can be lazy while we get ready for September. And I really hope that you'll still be here.