Adam and I are coming up on our tenth anniversary this year.
Ten years. That seems so crazy to me. Crazy in the "wow, it's been ten years" way and the "wow, it seems like a lot longer than ten years" way.
On one hand, we've weathered some really trying situations. Job stress. Kid stress. Money stress. House stress. I don't get flowers often, but I get my favorite wine when he runs to the liquor store. I do the bulk of the housework - the curse of the stay at home mom - but I do get "mommy time" every weekend and no comments when I come home with yet another "great deal that was just too good to pass up". We have a great balance.
On the other hand, he just came up and asked me what was wrong because I look both exhausted and sick (I actually feel neither, so...ummm...thanks for that).
But honestly, one of the things that I love about the guy is that he doesn't mince words. He didn't come up to tell me I look like crap, he told me I look like crap because he was concerned that I might be coming down with something. Then when I told him I was ok and was trying to get some writing done, he brought me a wine refill and a cupcake. And you can't beat that.
So do we have a perfect relationship? No, because perfect doesn't exist. But I like to think we have a pretty good marriage.
Top Five Ways We Keep Our Marriage Happy
5) Separate TVs. And no judgment on the DVR queue.
No, I'm not kidding. There are plenty of shows we watch together, but once the girls are in bed, I just MIGHT like to watch a little reality TV. And he definitely enjoys a FASCINATING documentary called "Chasing Classic Cars" that, well, just isn't quite my cup of tea. Or glass of pinot.
4) A Sleep Number mattress.
He'd be happy sleeping on a board of wood, I like a mattress to feel...well, like a mattress. We treated ourselves a few Christmases ago and it was WELL worth it for us.
3) Acknowledgment and Acceptance
The man likes to golf and smoke cigars. When he gets to do those things, he's happy, relaxed, and loves to play with the girls and help me out around the house. Do I love the amount of time it takes to play a round of golf (with apparently mandatory clubhouse drinks and verbal replay afterward) or the smell of cigar smoke? No. But the trade off is well worth it. I love to spend my "time off" getting pedicures, getting $5 drinks while writing at Starbucks, and wandering around various stores. Adam doesn't understand why I can't write in our bedroom drinking the coffee we have, and he DEFINITELY doesn't get why I need pretty toes in the dead of winter. But he gets that I need this time to recharge, so he keeps his mouth shut. We get what makes the other happy, we let them enjoy it.
2) Taking One for the Team
Sometimes he does stuff he doesn't want to do, but he knows I want him to. Sometimes I do stuff I don't want to do, but I do it for him. All I'm saying about that.
1) We Laugh
Sometimes we laugh with each other. Sometimes we laugh at each other. Sometimes we laugh at ourselves. Sometimes we laugh together at others (don't judge, you do it too). But we don't take ourselves too seriously.
And because he's willing to laugh at himself and throw himself under the proverbial bus, I have an essay in this hilarious book. If you want to have as happy a marriage as we do, you need to get yourself a copy. It isn't husband bashing - it's women pointing out the foibles of the men that they chose to spend their lives with and laughing about it.
Have you ordered your copy yet? If you read it and loved it, please leave a review on Amazon!