I can't tell if I've failed yet or not.
Father's Day is this weekend, and so far, I'm not exactly shaping up to be wife of the year.
Here's the deal. All I want on Mother's Day is not to have to "do it all" and "be it all" for that one day. I don't want to procure, prepare, make arrangements for, or clean up food. I don't want to be the gift buyer and the card signer.
I don't want to have to go pick out and pick up my own present. I don't want to make my own breakfast/lunch/dinner plans. I don't want to have the girls sign my own card.
And Adam is an awesome dad. And he delivers. I have - in my world - the perfect Mother's Day. He buys a present and a card from him, and another from the girls. He wraps the gifts and has the girls sign the card. He gets the girls up and dressed, and we go out to breakfast. Then I go out - to shop, to get my nails done, to sip coffee and write, while he takes care of the girls. By the time I'm ready to come home, he has taken the girls to visit his mom for the afternoon and I get the house to myself. He gets the girls fed, and we enjoy takeout sushi that he picks up.
Is this man not a rockstar? I mean, seriously, I have not one Mother's Day complaint. Sure, he asks for gift ideas, and I do tell him, but it's not like I have to pick it up myself. I know, I know, the money is coming out of the same account, but it's just different. And he gets that.
Well, when it comes to Father's Day, so far I'm failing. He already bought himself his Father's Day gift - a few new golf clubs. He went to a demo day a few weeks ago so he could try them out and he ordered them on the spot. Which makes sense. If you need to try it out, you need to do it. He would never expect me to pick out clubs on my own. And sure, he could have given me specifications, but to him, it made infinitely more sense just to customize them and order them when he tried them out. And he just added them to our bill at the golf club.
If you are rolling your eyes at the fact that we belong to a golf club - ok, FINE, country club - please know that it was a financially responsible choice. The man was playing so much golf, and thus paying so much in greens fees every week, that it actually SAVED us money to just pay dues to a club that is two miles from our house. And has a pool. Seriously, we were surprised too, but the math didn't lie. In other news, my husband plays a LOT of golf.
So I failed on the gift. He picked it out, procured it, and paid for it. I had little to nothing to do with it. And although he will always love a card from the girls, he has specifically told ME not to get him a card.
Then the meals. He is playing golf starting at 7:00 am. So he told me he's planning on grabbing a bagel before he heads out, and he'll eat lunch in the clubhouse. He wants steak for dinner....but he doesn't like anyone to grill his steak but him. I mean, I guess I'll make whatever side dish he requests, but making a potato and salad is actually a pretty easy request. For all intents and purposes, the man is cooking his own dinner.
So I'm not shining in the food category either.
But I can pick up his work around the house! He got the girls taken care of on Mother's Day, cleaned the kitchen, supervised toy clean up. He took on jobs that are mostly "mine". I'll do "his" jobs on Father's Day.
Except I literally have no idea how to use our mower. Home improvement isn't my thing. And there is no way I'm taking on the role of spider killer. He won't have to do those tasks on his day (except for the spider killing, should the need arise), but I won't be picking up that slack.
So I fail there too.
Except, when I asked him if there was anything that would make his day even better, he told me how much he was looking forward to Father's Day. The girls made him a "project" (abstractly painted paper with vague handprints that were immediately covered in more pain) that is a secret, but one they have not kept very well. He got his golf clubs and will get to use them. He is planning to play as many holes of golf as he possibly can, before coming to watch the girls swim with a drink in his hand and his feet in the water, and heading home to a steak dinner and golf on TV.
So I guess he is getting his perfect Father's Day. Maybe I don't fail after all.
I know I luck out on Mother's Day, but I REALLY luck out that I have such an awesome parenting partner. He may not have always pictured himself with two girls, but he's turned out to be the perfect dad for them. He can watch a ballet dance, make a (kind of) ponytail, name every princess, pick out the perfect outfits, wrestle and roughhouse on the floor, teach them how to swing a golf club and throw a ball, read the Little House books and teach them the finer points of college basketball. He DEFINITELY deserves the perfect Father's Day!
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