Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Evolving

It's funny to think about how much I resist change with certain things, but, how when that change happens, it's not long before I can barely remember how things were before. It's crazy how quickly you just adjust to whatever is different.

There are habits I'm trying to develop and habits I'm trying to break and I'm not successful most of the time in that adjustment (admittedly I'm probably not trying very hard, which is probably why I'm not successful). But when change is forced on me (forced sounds very dramatic, maybe foisted is a better word), I can adapt remarkably quickly.

I think that's truly the way to adapt to any change - you simply give yourself no alternative BUT to adapt. When I got the new car a few months ago, it wasn't a simple adjustment like it had been last time I'd upgraded cars. From 2001 to 2008 the dashboard of my car looked pretty similar. You still used a key to start it, and yes, displays may have become more digital, but the basic set up looked the same. From 2008 to 2018 it felt like going from a rotary phone to an iPhone. I didn't have a clue how to do the basic in cabin adjustments because it was unbelievably different. When I dropped off at dance that first night and one of the dance moms admired the car, I admitted that to her. It looked great, but I was completely overwhelmed. She told me she'd be shocked if I hadn't totally adjusted within the week, and become so adept that I couldn't imagine NOT having all that technology. And you know what? She was totally right.

And to be quite honest, it's like that with most technology. Stove, TV, dishwasher, washing machine, phone. You spend a day or so blundering, wondering how in the world you are going to get the most basic functions completed without feeling like a time traveler. But adjustment happens quickly.

And yes, it's like that with most life changes too. I remember one day, very clearly, when I was in 7th grade. It must have been early October - I don't remember the exact date of course - and I was bounding down the stairwell between classes and suddenly had the realization that I knew what I was doing and I actually belonged there. Changing classes and navigating the big middle school wasn't something that required a lot of thought about every step. I wasn't playing the new part of "7th grader". It was me - the actual ME. That shift happened more quickly when I moved to high school, and to college, and into my student teaching and my first job and my apartment and my first house and becoming a mom. You feel like you're playing a part for a few days because it's not you yet. But after a shockingly short period, it is you.

I still resist changes. I see friends making major moves and I can't imagine myself doing the same because I'm so comfortable with life right now. But what I need to remember is that adjustment really isn't that difficult - or scary - once you are in it. Evolution is part of life.
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