Tuesday, November 13, 2012

A glimpse into the future...

Two girls, nineteen months apart.

I get LOTS of advice.  So I have heard from many people that:

a) the girls will be best friends, and incredibly close.  I'll be so lucky, because soon they'll be playing on the same level and will enjoy each other's company.  I hear that soon they'll be on the same schedule, play independently (without me), share the same toys, and enjoy the same shows.


b) the girls will be at each other's throats, fighting over toys, mommy's attention, and (hopefully in the future) clothes, make-up, etc.  I'll have to do a lot of policing and take toys away

By the way, there are certain people who have told me both things.

Most people are speaking from some sort of experience.  They had a sibling close in age, they have children close in age (who may or may not be grown), they have a friend/neighbor/colleague/relative who has two of the same gender with a age separation of under 2 years.  So I should WAIT AND SEE because they know how this will turn out.  (Does anyone hate the "you'll see?".  I'm not a fan.)

What will WE experience next week, next month, next year?  Only time will tell.   I'm sure it will be

c) all of the above, sometimes in the same day.

because that's what we had today.

I realize that Reagan is still young and the girls are not even close developmentally.  Madison is a little kid with the verbal and motor skills, Reagan is still a baby.  But she's 8 1/2 months old, crawling, pulling up, and actively playing with and interested in toys.

Since Reagan was sitting up, Madison has been playing with her.  BUT Madison had control.  She brought the toys over, she took the toys away.  She determined what was "Reagan worthy" and what was "MINE!!!!!"  And Reagan didn't care.  She'd play with the Fisher Price kitchen, she'd play with a stuffed animal, she'd play with a rattle, she'd play with a random piece of paper.

Now that Reagan's mobile, it's a mixed blessing.  She can choose what to crawl to.  She can get there.  And if she pulls up, she can reach what Madison has stored on the coffee table.  Last week, she was only doing short distances, so Madison would take her "special" toys into the living room.  Now, since Reagan would crawl a mile over hot coals to get to ME, a quick jaunt to the next room to chase down the colorful today is no issue.  Madison both loves and HATES this.  She goes from encouraging Reagan to follow her to actively blocking her path.

Here are the things I said to both girls today.

To Madison:
  • That is NOT a leash!  Do NOT drag your sister around!  (To be fair, a pacifier on a clip does kind of a look like an appropriate leash for a 2 year old to lead an 8 month old around on.  But I have to draw a line somewhere.  I let that slide, Lord knows what they'll try next).
  • Oh, THANK you for sharing that toy with Reagan!  She is so excited to play with you!  What a great sister!
  • Madison, that is a BABY toy.  It is REAGAN'S toy, and she had it in her hands!  Please give that back (I felt like adding that it wasn't even interesting toy.  I mean, if you're going to steal a toy, make it a good steal).
  • What are you two playing?  Do you need mommy?  No?  Great!  (Um, both girls looked at me like I was interfering in their fun.  Fine by me...I kept loading the dishwasher).
  • Just because Reagan is crawling does not mean you can try to ride her!  (Seriously, I blame Adam and his horsey rides.  She sees Reagan crawling and attempts to just hop on.  Hop right on the fifth percentile 8 month old.  SERIOUSLY!)
  • Awwww...you are teaching Reagan to clap!  What a nice sister!
  • Madison, when someone screams and cries, that means you are playing too rough!  We play in a GENTLE way (Thanks Kai-Lan.  Oh, and this is not specific to Reagan.  I have to tell her that when Daddy yells OW as she jumps up and down on him that it means it's time to stop.)
  • A rattle for laptop is not a fair trade.  Try again.
To Reagan:
  • Candy Land cards are not for eating!
  • OK, Reagan, here's a life lesson.  When someone runs away as you're grabbing them, it means they don't want to hang out with you.
  • Ohhh....you figured out how to get that open, didn't you?  (Madison's doctor kit.  Even Madison has trouble with it on occasion.  This is one of her "special" toys we keep out of Reagan's reach).
  • OK, why are BOTH girls crying right now?  You don't need to cry just because Madison is!  (Two year old mood swings.  Ugh).
  • Madison is sitting on Mommy's lap now.  You are playing with the kitchen!  (Put me down, put me down, put me down....oh....someone else is there.  Pick me up, pick me up, pick me up).
  • Yay Reagan!  What a big girl you are!  
  • NO!  NO!  That is a POTTY and NOT a toy!  Get out of there!  (Yeah...time to get that out of Reagan's reach).
They had both a great day and then a day where they were on each other's last nerve, which caused one to crawl for me, crying, and the other to run into the bathroom and slam the door.  They played together and then snatched toys out of each other's hands.  They giggled and rolled around and "wrestled" each other and then cried when the other touched them.  They shared a snack and then fought over whose goldfish was whose.  They kept each other amused while I cleaned and then battled over my attention.

A great day and a day full of sibling rivalry.

I think we have many, many more of these to come.

In Reagan's crib.  Because Madison thinks it is hysterical to get in there with her.

Explaining a toy.  Reagan appears to be listening.  She's even ignoring the remote.

Madison has an awesome kitchen that Santa brought last year.  But this one came back out, so it's the clear favorite right now.

Madison convincing Reagan this will be fun!
Can't wait to see where this takes us!


Esther said...

Aieee, I just had my second daughter! Now we have all this to dread and to look forward to. Thanks for finding me on Twitter. Blessings, Esther

Meredith said...

It's both heart meltingly wonderful and hair tearingly frustrating. But I wouldn't have it any other way! Congratulations on your daughter, and thanks for reading!

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