Seriously, give me some ideas because I'm really struggling here.
My birthday is tomorrow. My parents are all set to get me a gift card, as soon as I tell them where and promise to only use it for myself, and Adam has reached the point of begging for hints so he can go ahead and do his last minute shopping with the girls. And I have no idea what to tell either of them. Heck, I don't even know what I'd like for dinner. I'm stuck in a place of total indecisiveness.
Let me say that again. Adam is offering to either take me out, pick up food, or cook our meal tomorrow night, and I have absolutely no ideas to give him. As long as I don't have to cook it, I'm happy. Seriously. But he wants feedback.
Gift giving should not be stressful for the recipient, but somehow I'm feeling it. I don't know what I want. I can't think of a single thing to tell him. So far, all I've managed to come up with is a new microwave, but Adam tells me that's not a birthday gift.
Besides, our microwave is totally holding steady with three functional numbers.
My problem is that whatever I want seems to be things for the house or things for the kids. My cart on Amazon is filled with homeschool stuff - books and manipulatives that I want to get to use with the girls. I read my HGTV magazine and lust after new flooring and cabinets. If you give me a gift card to anywhere that sells children's clothes, chances are I'll purchase those because Madison just had another growth spurt. And sure, a spa day is nice and luxurious, but once I sling my giant mom purse back over my shoulder I've pretty much negated the massage that it took me months to schedule.
If I need something for myself, I generally get it in the most practical way possible. I do treat myself to a mani/pedi on occasion, and I've got my loyalty card so I get the tenth one free. I needed new sneakers, so I picked up a pair on sale a few weeks ago. I get time to myself when my sitter comes every week, and usually on the weekends too, and I do treat myself while I go out to write or run errands. So there isn't anything I really need.
The thing is, I usually don't feel bad about this! I don't feel neglected, I don't feel like my image has been swallowed up by my family. I get time to myself, I focus on things that make me happy, I make sure I'm taken care of too. I have what I need. I don't feel like a sad story. I'm not, and I never have been, one of those women who say things like "my kids are the only important thing. I don't need presents. Give them presents".
But I still can't think of a birthday gift to suggest. Seriously. Not one. And it's driving me crazy.
What I'm really hoping is, as I sit in Starbucks and write this, that Adam has taken the girls out and they've become inspired. And tomorrow morning I'm surprised and happy and feeling even more blessed because I didn't have to come up with anything - they just knew what I'd love.
Because sometimes the best gift is the gift of not having to make the decisions for a day.
