Monday, May 1, 2017

Doing Stuff You Don't Want To

I love that, whenever my girls are asked to do something like clean their rooms, or put away laundry, or work on homework, or pretty much anything that isn't free playtime, their response is,

I don't like that. It's not fun. I don't want to.

Some stuff I get. Cleaning your room isn't fun. Emptying the dishwasher isn't fun. Some stuff is bizarre to me. Showering isn't fun? Showering is a drag?

But overall, the theme seems to be that wanting to do something is really what should drive the decision. If you don't want to, because it isn't "fun", there should be absolutely no requirement to take it on. And then I have to be Mean Mommy, and point out that grown ups actually spend most of their time doing things they don't want to do.

Laundry is not fun. I don't want to do that.

Dishes are not fun. I don't want to do that.

Cleaning the kitchen is not fun, especially when it has to be done multiple times a day. Don't want to do it.

Cleaning the bathrooms is not fun. Don't want to do that either.

Bills aren't fun at all. Don't want to.

I'm sure most adults can agree on those. I mean, is there a kid who sits on their bed and wishes they'd grow up so they can sit there with their very own checkbook and write a big old check to the oil company.

Generally speaking, most grown ups don't like the day to day grind of their work. Don't like the constant upkeep of the house. Don't like spending their money on boring things like furnaces and a roof and getting the septic pumped.

Then, we all have our own weird things. I know plenty of adults who love to get outside and garden, but for me, that's the biggest dragging my feet chore out there. I don't mind running errands, but I know others who absolutely hate the tedium of restocking the toilet paper and shampoo. I will happily drive my kids around all day, but I hate driving at night or in cities. I like to cook, but I hate the meal planning.

I feel like it's really helpful to show kids that a) being a grown up isn't all staying up late and getting to decide if we get ice cream and b) that grown ups don't have super self control either. I whine and procrastinate as much as they do sometimes, and I truly do think that it helps them to see that I'm human, and humans aren't always bubbling over with joy when it's time to do the laundry.

But you also learn. You learn fast that if you get the "don't want to" stuff over with quickly, you have more time for the fun stuff. I try to always do a "don't want to" chore when my girls do theirs, and then we can relax together. Sure, my relaxing might be a book, while theirs is pulling out the Shopkins and messing up a room they just cleaned, but it helps.

It's leading by example. It's showing them that there is plenty of fun to be had, and that when you have your family, even the "don't want to" stuff doesn't have to be all bad.


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