"I'm not drunk, and the children are still alive"

I had another topic in mind and a post half written...but this just needed to be shared.

(By the way, I am keeping the identity of this particular mom under wraps.  Of my few dedicated readers, I'm sure some of you can figure it out.  But I'm blogging without telling her first, so I feel like I should keep it anonymous!)

My best friend called me tonight when I was visiting my sister and her new baby, so I didn't pick up.  We had already talked twice today, but sometimes we call each other just to share quick things that make us laugh. It wasn't until after I was home and the girls were in bed that I got a chance to listen to her voice mail.  She said that when her husband got home, he asked how her day was, and she responded:

"I'm not drunk, and the children are still alive".

Unsaid: Because I SHOULD be, and they SHOULDN'T be.

Speaks volumes about how HER day was.

I could definitely relate.  Although my day wasn't quite to THAT level, one of the first things I said this morning was "you are not leaving this kitchen until you pick up ALL your pancakes from the floor" (while literally setting up a barrier and having to goaltend against a stubborn and determined two year old) and my day ended with washing poop off a six month old's hands and saying to Madison "we can put on your pajama pants the easy way or the hard way" (she chose the hard way).  I finally finished cleaning up the breakfast dishes at 8:00 tonight.

Yeah, all moms, both those who stay home and those who work, have days like that.  But one of the reasons her experiences always resonate a little more strongly with me is because in a lot of ways, when I look at what she's dealing with, I'm looking a year into the future.  She also has two kids who are 18 months apart.  So I'm often looking at her thinking...ok, so I'll be dealing with THAT soon.  In fact, she was the first person I called when I found out Reagan was on the way.  I believe I opened the conversation with "tell me it's going to be OK".

Two kids close together in age has definite ups and downs, and those ups and downs seem to change often as the kids go through their developmental stages.  In the beginning it was REALLY tough.  Right now, I'm actually in a pretty good place.  Reagan is SO amused by Madison, and I can buy some time to finish dinner or run to the bathroom by saying "Madison, make faces at Reagan!" or "Can you find Reagan's bink and give it to her?", and Madison WILL.  The girls don't play "together" per se, but they can both play independently now.  They go to bed and get up for the day at about the same time.

There are tricky parts.  Yes, I still have two in diapers, two who can't get into their own carseats, one who needs to be carried place to place (and one who WANTS to be carried place to place).  Yes, they both nap, but one of them (cough, Reagan) is NOT a good napper yet.  Still, I get at least 30 minutes in the middle of the day. 

There are great things to look forward to.  When they both eat the same food.  When they can play together.  When they're both on the same schedule.  When they end up super close as everyone seems to assure me they will.  They're already off the a great start.

But before that happens, a little over a year into the future, I will have TWO toddlers...3 and 18 months.  If rumors can be believed, one will be in a very whiny phase, and one will be just entering the trying toddler years, getting into EVERYTHING with the tantrums and tears.

And I'm sure someday someone will ask me how the day was, when I've been putting children in time out all day and saying things like "we do NOT play drums on people's heads!"

And I might sigh and say, "Well, I'm not drunk and the children are still alive".

Anonymous friend, this one is for you.