Tuesday, January 8, 2013

A Middle Name Day

Two girls in bed at 7:00.


It's been a "Middle Name" day for Madison.  A big time middle name day.  Where she wasn't "munchkin" or "big girl" or "monkey", she was MADISON BARBARA.

Madison is a typical two year old.  She's not perfect.  She tests, she experiments, she wants to do things on her own, she is learning to assert her own wants and opinions.  There are trials.  She'll have meltdowns and tantrums.  She'll refuse to do things.

She's also incredibly talkative, funny, smart, and loving.  She's very affectionate and covers all three of her family members with kisses.  She loves to sing and dance and play with Reagan.

So two is full of ups and downs, just like most of the stages we've been through so far.  Lots of days are a mix.  Some days are mostly ups.

Today was not one of those days.

Today was a day where it was like she was deliberately pushing every button, from the moment she woke up.  I won't give you the script of our day (mostly because I'm trying to forget it) but here are some highlights.

  • Peed on the floor SIX times.  Notice I did not say "had six accidents".  No, that would imply she was too involved playing to stop and pee, or she held it too long and didn't make it in time.  She literally stopped, squatted in the middle of the living room/kitchen/hallway or climbed into her booster or Adam's armchair, said "I'm peeing!" and then peeled off her wet underpants, tossed them in the general direction of the washing machine, and ran off to play.
  • Draped her new necklace, which she got for Christmas and calls her amulet, around her sister's neck and started pulling, as if Reagan were a puppy.  We realize her intention is PROBABLY not to hurt Reagan.  But she's done this before and we have reacted in a VERY SERIOUS way, so she does know that it's not ok - EVER.
  • Called Reagan over to play with her, then when Reagan stood, unsteadily, next to her, yelled "NO REAGAN!  GO AWAY!" and shoved her down.  Multiple times.
  • Took her "upstairs" toys (the ones with little parts) and tossed them down the stairs.  Like a snowfall of Candy Land cards/Memory cards/Magnets/Dominoes.
  • Listened to me tell her something and deliberately, and immediately, disobeyed.  When given an option between two things, chose the unsuggested option 3, usually involving destruction of some kind.
  • And on, and on, and on.
She was in time out nine times today.  Nine.  Nine.  

Even I know that after the first few times it's a lost cause.  She stays in her spot, which is a blessing, but she either happily played and kicked her feet, serving her 2 1/2 minutes before saying "I'm so sorry.  Oh Mommy.  I (insert crime here) and that's not ok.  It's ok. I go play now".

Nine times she said that to me.  Verbatim.  Every time.  Completely fine.

She lost three toys today. 

She had five screaming tantrums.  Which, interestingly, were not related to time out or toy loss.  They were because I tried to put a shirt on her, put Reagan in her crib for a nap, put her empty breakfast plate in the dishwasher, and other unacceptable acts.

I'm a pretty patient person, but I was losing it by lunchtime and biting my lip to keep from yelling "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?????"

She took a decent nap, but unfortunately, that didn't change the course of the day, it wasn't enough of a recharge for me, and by dinner I was worn thin.  I love my daughter with every fiber of my being, but it was really hard to like her today.  She wasn't cute, she wasn't funny, she wasn't adorably charming.  She was downright mean and rude.

Maybe she was overtired.  She seemed to have a normal night's sleep, but maybe it wasn't restful.

Maybe she sensed that we were "trapped" in the house today.  I got a major service done on my car, so we stayed home.  I had a loaner from the dealership in case we needed it, and to make the drop off and pick up easier, but I didn't want to bother with loading up the carseats since we didn't have anywhere specific to go.

Maybe she wasn't feeling well.  Reagan was sick about a week ago, so it's possible. 

Maybe she was fed up with having to share with and play with Reagan.  Reagan IS into everything now, and since she's completely mobile, there aren't a lot of "safe" places for Madison to put her things.  And we've put a lot of the pressure on Madison to move herself or her toys when Reagan bothers her, because Reagan doesn't understand yet.

Maybe she just had a cranky day.  We've all been there.

Bedtime couldn't come soon enough, and we actually did a double bath with Reagan and put them to bed at the same time, instead of our usual routine (Reagan does bath/bottle/bed with me while Madison plays with Adam, then Madison does bath/books/bed with both of us).  When we do that, I take Reagan out and put her down, and Adam takes Madison.  We say goodnight to everyone in the bathroom instead of in bed.  We still hug and kiss, but it's a different routine.

Tonight Reagan ate quickly, and went down easily, and I could hear that Madison was still awake, so I went into her dark room.

She saw me, stood up, took out blue pacifier, and held up her arms.

We did a big, long, hug.

"Mommy, I love you all the way to the moon."

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.  A munchkin day and not a middle name day.

But even if it isn't, we'll have that bedtime moment of snuggles and love yous and for a moment, all will be wonderful again.

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