Sunday, February 17, 2013

I Can't Wait

Today I had a lot of "can't wait" moments.

My parents came over this afternoon.  I know everyone says "oh, don't clean for us!" but naturally, we always do.  The floor under the kitchen table is always particularly bad, because that's where Reagan eats.  Madison eats fairly neatly right now, but Reagan is at the stage where more food ends up on her, her chair, and the floor than in her mouth.  We've tried putting a towel under her seat, like we did when Madison was in this stage, but for some reason it isn't working with Reagan, so we just gave up.

That means the floor under her seat is always caked with food.  We do what we can to keep it under control, but sometimes we just can't keep up.  That means that I'm down on the floor scrubbing up glued on banana.  Today, as I was trying to scrub banana while keeping the girls out of the kitchen I said aloud "I can't wait until you are eating neatly!"

I was standing at the sink washing bottles and mixing up formula.  Reagan stopped nursing this December, so I've only had to do this for two and a half months, but it can feel like a giant pain.  It feels like I am always washing bottles.  I was thinking "I can't wait until you are done with bottles!"

Madison might be potty trained, but she's still not dry overnight.  I'm totally fine with that.  She wears a pull up to bed and we call them "nighttime underpants".  However, that's not always enough.  There are many, many, mornings when she wakes up with soaked pull-up, pajamas, and sheets.   Today was one of those mornings and I really didn't have time to pull off her sheets and do laundry.  I thought "Ugh, I can't wait until you wake up dry!"

When you stop and think, if you're anything like me, you have a lot of moments where you "can't wait" for something.  Can't wait for the day to be over, the weekend to be here, a class to be done.  I remember that last stretch before major events: my wedding, my pregnancy, graduation, where you just can't wait to be done and start the next part.

The next part is wonderful.  There's always something great coming. When you are having a tough day, you know a relaxing evening at home will make you feel better.  When it's been a long week, you yearn for a lazy weekend. When you're at the end of the journey, you want to see what's next.

But on the other hand, when you spend life thinking "I can't wait" or "If only this part was over", aren't you wishing your life away?  I don't know that I'll yearn for the days of changing sheets or washing bottles or scrubbing banana off the kitchen floor, but I know that my girls are already growing so fast.  They don't need me wishing it'll happen faster.

I don't know anyone who wishes for the sleepless nights with newborn babies. But looking back, nursing my newborn, holding her close while the world slept, was amazing snuggly bonding time. Once it was gone, I have to admit, I missed it.

So if I wish away these sticky banana and wet sheet moments, I'm also wishing away a little girl who sings songs while jumping on her trampoline. I'm wishing away a baby who chases her big sister as fast as she can get her tiny legs to move.

Look forward with excitement, but cherish the present.  That's what I'll try to do.
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