Sunday, April 14, 2013

How Do You Pick Up a Mom?

Wow...out of context, that's a weird title.

It should be How Do You Pick Up a Mom FRIEND?



Today, Adam was off helping a friend of his do some landscaping. Madison needs a summer wardrobe, because despite my pleas, she insists on growing out of her clothes and shoes. I had some coupons and some Gymbucks, so the three of us headed off to the mall.

Madison loves this particular mall, which for some reason, she calls "the festival". She gets very annoyed when we go into stores and begs to go back out and walk around the festival. Today I actually needed to focus and work some math, so we made a deal: she behaved in the stroller while we were in the stores, and after we were done, we could stay at the "festival", walk around, and end with some play in the play area.

She kept her part of the bargain, so after procuring several bags of shorts, t-shirts, and sundresses, we did one lap and ended up at the play area. 

The mall had only been open for an hour or so, and the play area wasn't crowded. We parked the stroller and I let the girls go wild. For a climber like Reagan, it's a dream come true.





Madison immediately gravitated to a little boy who was playing near her, and was about the same age. There was a baby sitting next to him and she went right up and told him how cute "his" baby was. Then she asked him to play, and off they ran. 

Naturally, the mom and I started chatting. She asked how old Madison was, and then how old Reagan was (responding with a somewhat relieved OH when she found out she's thirteen months. A tiny little girl running and climbing tends to throw people). I asked the same questions and she and I were chatting easily with "mom small talk" - the differences between our kids, the need to constantly replace outgrown clothes, all that. Her son was a few months older than Madison and her daughter a few months younger than Reagan, so we went through the pros and cons of spacing, what we loved and what was tough.  She was open and friendly, her kids were cute, and twenty minutes just flew by.

Then her baby was getting fussy, and I knew I needed to get my girls some lunch before the meltdowns started, so we wrangled the kids back into the strollers. We kept talking, comparing double strollers (she had a side by side, I have a front to back) and weighing the merits of each (hers can't always make it through doors and aisles, mine is sometimes too long).

Then we said goodbye, pushed off in different directions...and that was that.

I liked that mom, her kids got along with my kids, but once we got to that exchange-phone-numbers-or-we'll-never-see-each-other-again moment, neither one of us was willing to make the first move.

You second guess. Was she just being polite? Was she annoyed by how forward Madison was? Did she look at my little climber and start thinking of playdates ending with bumps and bruises? Will she think I'm creepy for wanting her contact info? Does she already have mom friends?

I know. I do have mom friends. I have friends from before I had kids, I have friends I found afterward. I have people to call to vent to, I have people to call for playdates, I have people I can ask questions. But when you meet someone you click with, there is always room for new friends. 

Not ALL of them!


Maybe for some people it's easy. But for me, it's tough to move past the I see you at the playground phase to the call each other for a mom's night out phase. I'm not a good "make the first move" mom I guess.

It's match.com for stay at home moms...never had much luck. I hear that's typical.


I wish I had a happy ending...we ended up being parked next to each other and one of us took a shot at asking for the number and completing the pick up. But no...this mom got away.

I suppose I might see her again. After all, within a few months we'll be replacing wardrobes once more, and maybe we'll recognize each other at the "festival".

If you need a new book to read, and you like a mom who isn't afraid to be honest, check out Motherhood Comes Naturally (and other vicious lies) by Scary Mommy. Read it and LOVED it. If I met her in the play area of a mall, I think we could be friends for sure.
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