Friday, July 5, 2013

I Don't Think My Health Insurance Covers This

Archive post SIX! This past November, Madison was heavily into her doctor phase, and this was a check up to remember!

It was (singing) Time for my check up! Time for my (inappropriate) check up!

Anyone who knows Madison knows that she is VERY into being a doctor lately.  It started a few months ago with a "faux" doctor kit.  As in, the tools from the Critter Clinic (technically a vet playset) that I put in a plastic box from the Dollar Spot at Target.

By the way, the Critter Clinic comes with a little kennel.  Madison kicked the animals out and repurposed it as condo living for Mickey and his pals, since she informed me they don't LIVE in the clubhouse.  It has a set of keys with corresponding colors, and she locks them all into their, at cleanup time.

Mickey, Daisy and Minnie.  Must be an expensive area.  These apartments are too small for the characters to stand up in.

Anyway, about a month ago, Madison earned a prize for some potty successes, and we went to choose it.  I planned on Toys R Us, but we stopped in BJs first, and she spotted the pink and purple glittery Doc McStuffins doctor kit and instantly knew that somehow it would be hers.  She was due a prize anyway, so even though I COMPLETELY judge myself for having such an over the top girly doctor kit, I bought it.  Ten bucks.  Fine.

It's no Little Einsteins.  But it IS a cute show.

Even Reagan loves it!

Anyway, now she uses both kits, sometimes at the same time.  A minimum of three times a day, Adam, Reagan, and I are subjected to check ups.  If you are a visitor in our house, you probably will get one of your own.  We were at friend's house the other day, and since she couldn't find a doctor kit, she used the Home Depot tool kit and improvised.  Very resourceful.

Doc Madison...looking ready for action. 

The check up usually follows the same procedure.  Maybe an additional step if she has a medicine dropper (unused and given to her of course) or the blood pressure cuff handy.

1) With the stethoscope around her neck (not in her ears), she puts it on your chest (or stomach, or leg, or whatever she can reach) and instructs you to say "ba-boom".  Then she tells you "that's good".

2) She puts the stethoscope on your back and tells you "breathe in" and "now breathe out".  Then the "that's good".

3) She takes the little mirror that came with the vet kit (or the otoscope that came with the Doc kit...whichever is closer at hand) and checks your eyes.  And if you are Adam, tries to touch your eyeball.  We're not sure why he gets this special treatment.

4) She takes the thermometer, which is a standard thermometer, and puts it in your ears.  She instructs you to say "beep".  Then she tells you your ears are happy.

5) She takes the tweezers from the vet kit and attempts to pull your nails OFF.  Telling you it is much easier if you hold still.

5) Finally she takes the syringe, puts it between your toes and says "TICKLE TICKLE".

Side note...Madison received shots several times a week for a full year from Adam and I (in her thighs, not her toes).  She is very aware of syringes and how they are used.  NEVER did she accuse Adam, myself, or her doctors of tickling her.  And she certainly didn't laugh.

That's the standard Madison check up.  Sometimes she tells you "you're all better", sometimes she "has a diagnosis" and puts the band-aid bracelet on your boo-boo.  We're used to them and are guilty on occasion of hurrying her through them, playing our parts are quickly as possible, so we can eat dinner, or go to bed, or get in the car, or whatever.  Refusing the check up is an exercise in futility, so we just go with it.  We know the routine.

Today's checkup was a little different for three reasons.

First, it was conducted by Doctor Madison...who was not wearing any pants.  Classic little girl from the waist up, stark naked from the waist down.  Definitely inappropriate behavior from a doctor.  Sadly, this is becoming very typical.  She takes her pants completely off to use the potty and then just leaves them.

Professional from the waist up...not so much from the waist down.

Second, she had me lay on the floor...and did the check up sitting on my chest.  She likes to climb on Adam and I "like a ladder" so when I was initially on the ground, I was anticipating that and not a check up. I have certainly never had a pants-less doctor sit on my sternum.

Finally, when it was time for the syringe, she climbed down from me and ran off to get it.  I stood up to attend to Reagan while I waited for my toe tickles....

Sparkly!  Takes away the sting!

And got a shot right in the butt.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Real Time Web Analytics