Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Whisper While You Work

This past weekend was child free. Adam and I had a wedding to attend, and we ended up working things out where the girls spent not just one night, but two nights at Gram and Gramps' house. The girls were ecstatic to have a real sleepover, and I was thrilled to have the house to myself. That is absolutely golden to me. I had plans and lists for all the things I was going to get done.

Well, as usual, half my list went undone. I dropped the girls off around lunchtime on Saturday, but by the time I got out of there, drove the hour home, and got my nails done and some new shoes purchased (hey, we had a wedding to attend!), it was already 4:00 and Adam and I had a date night planned, starting at 6:00. I got a few things done, but the date night was overdue and took precedence. And I don't regret that. When we got home and settled in to sleep, I was feeling a little...under the weather. Just a cold...allergies...something. I started my homeopathic remedies and thanked God I wouldn't have a two year alarm clock the next morning.

The next morning I wasn't woken by a two year old, but with an annoying cough. I lazed around a bit, drinking tea, sucking on lozenges, trying to knock it out before we had to be in the car just after lunchtime.  Did I get everything done? No. I still had a lot of work I wanted to do, and before I knew it the girls would be home!

Several home remedies, one dose of Robitussin and a good amount of tea later, we were on our way to the wedding and feeling pretty good. We chatted the whole way up in the car, laughing and talking and enjoying the trip.

Once we were there and waiting for the ceremony, I started to feel some major irritation and suddenly, despite feeling better, I sounded like I had a cold. By the time we were at cocktail hour I was definitely hoarse, and as we took our seats for dinner, it was clear that my voice was pretty much gone.

Long story short? By the time we were driving home all I could do was whisper. And after a good night's sleep, a saline gargle, gallons of tea, and every other remedy both Pinterest and Google had to offer...I still can only whisper.

And I've been there before. I sang for long enough to know that once laryngitis sets in, the absolute best thing you can do is rest. Any talking or whispering will only prolong the issue. Keep hydrated, keep quiet. The end.

Except...have you ever tried to pick up two small children you haven't seen in 48 hours without talking?

Yes, Mommy is excited to see you too...even if you can't hear her!

Or drive them an hour home while they alternate between whispering their issues to you so you are forced to find non-verbal, non-eye contact making ways to ask them to speak up so you can hear what they want over the sound of the car, or yelling at each other while you whisper solutions they can't hear?

If you are whispering, they need to whisper too, no matter how many times you told them it's unnecessary, until it's time to start screaming because Mommy can't make herself or her reason heard..right?

Or read to them before nap/rest time?

Mommy, I can't hear the story!!

Or wake them up to get ready for dance class?

It's always the days that you DON'T want them to take a long nap that they suddenly decide they need sleep.

Or try to negotiate with a crying child?

Ok, you HAVE to stop crying, because you definitely can't hear me when you are.

Or break up a fight over who is bothering who while you make dinner?

I'm just going to go ahead and hand you each your iPad in separate rooms. Screen time, schmeen time, Mommy is going crazy!

Or call them upstairs to bed?

Ok, I really don't want to go searching for you right now, and if you yell to me from the bathroom, I can't yell back.

It's amazing how much the world seems to want to hear your voice when your voice just isn't there.

But on the plus side, all this silence has allowed me to be very productive now that the girls are in bed!

Sorry honey, but you don't want to try and hang out with me. Why don't you head downstairs and just let me sit in silence by myself?

Maybe whispering can get my work done!

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