Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Relax Momma, They Won't Go to College Like That

This post is sponsored by Acorn - an influence company. Thank you Acorn and Underjams for helping to take the embarrassment out of bedwetting!

Some phases are just frustrating.

Take the one we're currently in with Madison right now. I have no idea how or where she picked it up, but she's got the attitude, sass, backtalk, and expressions of a teenager these day and I am this close to busting out with "I am sick of your attitude, young lady!"

We're in the midst of it right now, and all those amazing strategies haven't started to work yet, and it's easy to think that my sweet, mature, charming little girl has turned into something much less sweet. That this is the rest of our life.

We're also trying to encourage Reagan off her nighttime pacifier addiction. She kicked her daytime habit, but she's clinging to that bedtime bink with incredible ferocity. I know there are some who would encourage us to just force her to go cold turkey, but since timing the "pacifier fairy" just right with Madison worked, and since waiting for Reagan to essentially potty train herself worked, I'm trusting my instincts that she won't go to college with it, and I don't have to go the tough love route. But I can't see the end from where we are and I feel like we'll just be in this stage forever.

I'm not alone in this. Because a few weeks ago, I read a thread on a message board about bedwetting that just made my heart hurt. For the mom and the kid, because this was a battle that just wasn't pleasant for either of them. This is a board for kids born the same month Madison was, so these kids are just shy of five. They aren't in kindergarten. They're still little kids.

Anyway, this particular mom was at the end of her rope when it came to overnight potty training. Her child had day trained quickly and easily, but wasn't even close to night trained. And this mom was done. She was asking for advice, saying that she'd already cut off all liquids three hours before bed, had the child use the potty twice during the bedtime routine and woke the still sleepy preschooler twice overnight to sit them on the potty. And still  - wet sheets in the morning. The mom was convinced that it was behavioral. She had her poor four year old helping to change the sheets every day to teach him about the consquences, but worse, in her own frustration and embarrassment, was starting to shame.

Only babies need nighttime pants. Big kids don't wet the bed.

My heart hurt so much for both of them. I get the frustration you get when you feel like every other child has moved out of a stage and you are still deeply in it. I get the I am not buying any more diapers! frustration. I get the annoyance of washing load after load of laundry.

But that kid is four. FOUR. A four year old being called a baby because he is still doing something, something that is out of his physical control, something that over 15% of kids are still doing consistently at five years old. This preschooler is getting his sleep interrupted nightly, and feeling like a failure every morning. The cover ups and lying are starting. Discouragement is setting in.

For many of my friends, their cue to start potty training was waking up dry. If that was the cue I'd waited for, Reagan would still be in diapers, and Madison wouldn't be long out of them. Madison wore "nighttime pants" until just after her fourth birthday, and Reagan is still wearing them. They are both potty trained, but nighttime is a different story. An overtired kid sleeps hard, bladders are still small, and sometimes that part of their body matures a little later.

The embarrassment of waking up wet, especially daily, can start to take a toll on a kid. Trust me moms and dads, no kid wets the bed on purpose. Until they’re ready, help them have skills to head off nighttime enuresis, and the supplies to stay dry - like Pampers UnderJams.  They're quiet and cloth like, with a low waist. No one needs to know what your kid has on under those jammies. Parents can learn even more about how to help kids at PampersUnderJams.com. That’s where you can watch videos and read articles with lots of great information from Moms who are leading pediatricians. They have experience helping their own children deal with bedwetting.

And that was my comment to this mom, this mom who was frustrated and embarrassed and wondering why her smart, awesome four year old couldn't cross this final hurdle in the potty training Olympics. It's normal. Give that kiddo sometime time. Avoid the daily sheet changes with Underjams for a while. They aren't diapers - they're pants for big kids who need some help overnight. And relax - you won't be packing them when it's time for college.

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