Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Sometimes it's Easy to Fix

Generally speaking, I got pretty lucky with my two particular girls. They've both had some medical issues, but things are mostly resolved. And although we know plenty of friends who are struggling with anxiety or outbursts, we seem to have pretty age appropriate reactions.

That doesn't mean the girls are easy 100% of time. Trust me, they have their quirk and idiosyncrasies that drive me batty.

Madison gets hangry. I mean, hangry. She'll be plugging along, totally normally, and then her blood sugar will plummet and she'll end up a weepy, irrational, tantrumming mess, who refuses to eat or drink anything. Convincing her that a few sips of Gatorade or a few bits of a granola bar is what can bring her back to normal is nearly impossible. It's getting better as she gets older, but just when we think she's over it, the old issues will come storming back.

She also has very clear ideas on what she can and can't do. And if she thinks, for whatever reason, she can't do something, she will never, ever try. She's a smart and talented kid, and a lot comes pretty easily to her, but if it doesn't, watch out. For some reason, she's convinced that she's not a good writer, and getting her to write ANYTHING is like pulling teeth. I still haven't found a way to fix this.

And she gets really distracted, and then panicky when I catch her being distracted. For example, let's say she was told to finish a few pages of school work, or make her bed, or clean up a project. She can be distracted by just about anything and can spend an hour in her room essentially wandering around without doing a thing. When I go to check up on her, she jumps a mile, starts crying, and totally beats herself up for not being able to get anything done. I usually end up looking at her with a totally dumbfounded expression.

OK, sometimes I'm totally annoyed and irritated, so her panic is warranted. But that's typically not my first reaction.

How do we fix these things? I don't know. I'm kind of hoping she grows out of them, because otherwise, I'm at a loss, and I'll have a twenty something at home, weeping and refusing to eat, because she can't keep a job since she won't try anything new, and she got distracted by a random coworker and cried when her boss asked if she needed help.

Reagan isn't immune either. She's only five, so she still has some preschooler quirks which I really hope end soon.

She is stubborn as all get out. She will dig in her heels, double down, and make a minor incident twenty times worse because she refuses to give an inch.

She has a temper and a very clear sense of right and wrong. When she's been "wronged" she will insult you, your family, and everything you hold dear to get justice. With a group of five year olds, she can feel wronged quickly and doesn't help her case when she immediately fires back.

She's smart enough to know how to push buttons. Grandma feeling insecure? She'll refuse to walk near her. Mom just gave her the third degree before signing up for a non-refundable session of gymnastics? Now she won't do it.

Are these issues that Madison went through and I know how to fix? Nope. These are brand new. They give me my own fears for the future.

But sometimes, I can fix problems easily.

Madison started crying in the car recently that her legs hurt, especially when we're on long drives. They've always been absolutely fine in the car, so I had no idea why. She didn't want to do anything that required a long car ride. Then we started booster training Reagan, and SHE started crying too. What on earth was this about?

But once you know what's really wrong, you can fix it.

Their legs were falling asleep. Something about the position of the booster, even though they fit well, was putting pressure on one particular spot, and they were dealing with the consequence.

THIS, I can fix. There's a product, or a DIY solution for pretty much everything, and I was able to get both girls comfy, simply by giving them a place to rest their feet.

If only the other stuff was as easy. If you could buy a solution to five year old temper flair ups or distracted seven year olds, I would be all over it.
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