Friday, May 18, 2018

I Can Do it Myself

...but sometimes I don't want to.

Ever look at yourself and realize you don't make sense?

There are things that I look at and think, I am TIRED of paying someone else to do this for me. I have to do it way too much, it's too expensive, and I don't want to have to go and interact with people who may or may not be judging me. 

(They are almost certainly not judging me.)

Then there are things that I, or at least we, as a family, could certainly do ourselves, things that I'm sure people do and would judge us for, but the fact is that I just don't care. If I can get someone else to do it for me, I will.

It's why, that although it would certainly make my life easier, I can't bring myself to hire anyone to clean inside the house...

...but we'll hire someone to weed our bed and mow the lawn.

I can't have someone looking at my clutter and probably talking about me to their friends as they do the jobs I'll put off forever, but I'm perfectly fine paying someone to stand outside in the morning and pull weeds because I don't want to do it.

It's why, despite owning approximately 20,000 bottles of nail polish, I only get my nails and toes done at the nail salon...

...I'll figure out how to do basic car maintenance so that I don't have to interact with anyone and have them see my definitely past its prime and definitely past the point of caring interior.

I mean, the car guys probably can't believe that anyone would tolerate such a ridiculously messy backseat or still knowingly drive around a car that needs oil way too often. But the fact that the ladies at the nail salon very definitively point out when I'm overdue for an eyebrow wax add on don't bug me enough to stop.

I like the idea of being a regular, but I also don't like it. Know me enough where I don't have to justify why I'm here again so soon, but don't give me any indication of that.

In fact, this very morning I'll be conveniently upstairs, in the shower, when the people arrive to weed. I thank you, I love you, you make my spring thousands of times more pleasant...

...but if I see you I know you'll be thinking "she can do this herself"....and I don't want to.

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