There have been plenty of articles about that, however much parents work together to make running the household and raising the kids a two person, fair share job, moms carry the mental load. And moms everywhere said "um, duh?"
Adam and I, when buying our life insurance, joked about how much we needed to cover him (as a single income household, this was a big deal - we knew we'd need enough to buy me the time to get life organized without freaking out about losing the house) and then how much we'd need to cover me.
"Double," he said. "I need a full staff to do what you do."
He can put the girls to bed, and brush their hair and do the laundry and clean the kitchen and vacuum.
But it's the "everything else" thing. Arranging appointments and realizing it's time for new shoes and toilet paper. Signing up for lessons and keeping an eye on reading and screen time and interpersonal conflicts.
Then there's the memory stuff.
When did we last get my car detailed? When did we last get the furnace cleaned? Shoot, I'm about a year late on that appointment. Are we due for a septic pump? Wait, HOW long has it been since we cleaned the carpets? Did we email the dance teacher about that costume piece? Why don't we have any food in the freezer?
It's a load.
We recently had a "come to Jesus" moment about it. Adam is a GOOD husband, great at cleaning the kitchen and rolling up his sleeves and tackling the sock basket, but the mental load was absolutely killing me. I was organizing dance stuff and co-op stuff on top of our own everyday stuff (the socks, the kitchen, the homeschool stuff) and also trying to remember to call the oil company and the insurance company and bring the check to the chiropractor because I keep forgetting.
Yes, I know. Get a bullet journal. Install (insert life changing app here) on your phone. Create a habit for first thing in the morning and right before bed. Stop staying up so late and playing on my phone.
And know, with some satisfaction, that despite my lack of income, they couldn't make it without me.
