I really didn't like calling myself a dance mom, especially when it was said in such a laughing way by my friends who don't have kids who dance. I'd swear that "dance mom" was all a stereotype, and I was basically the same as any mom with kids in an activity.
But it's time to look at the facts.
This year marks Madison's sixth year as a competition dancer, and Reagan's third. Madison is entering her EIGHTH year of dance class, and Reagan is starting her fifth.
We are at the studio 4-7 days a week, and schedule the rest of our lives around those times.
I factored "can we fit two competition bags into the trunk" and "how many kids can I carpool to dance class" into my car purchase.
The girls will be entering FOURTEEN dances (between the two - not each) into five different competitions this year, participating in three or four conventions, and are dancing in six or seven different styles.
We are spending an obscene amount of money between tuition, private lessons, entry fees, costumes, "gear" and conventions. So much that I'm scouring each invoice thinking, "there has GOT to be a mistake".
I have become the unofficial go to person for new moms at our studio about what they'll need, how to do things, how to navigate competition. I'm the one with the answers. Should they buy a dream duffel? What's the deal with make up? Is this convention worth it?
I make garment bag labels for all the girls on the team.
I really don't think I can deny it any more. I'm not just the mom of a kid who dances.
Because I've been asked questioned so much, I decided that I'm not going to downplay this part of our lives anymore, and I'm going to start writing about it regularly, covering the basics, the best hacks I've figured out so far, and the scary (OMG, it costs WHAT to have two kids in dance?).
Will anyone read it? Maybe, maybe not.
But I've accepted it as part of who I am, and that means I'm ready to share!
Tuesday, September 24, 2019
Monday, September 16, 2019
September is Exhausting
I am WORN OUT.
We are only a few weeks into the new school year, and between settling back into homeschooling, and figuring out all the chauffeuring I need to do, and making sure that I know the schedule, who needs to be where, with what, when, and then actually making it happen is running me ragged. Plus, these people seem to want to eat EVERY DAY, and when you homeschool, that means you are making three meals a day happen. And even though they are perfectly capable of making breakfast and lunch, you have to make sure that there is FOOD for that. There is so much to physically DO, and so many places to BE.
And there are checks to be written and forms to be filled out and appointments to schedule. And lesson plans to make and work to be checked. There is so much MENTAL energy exerted that my brain is just tired.
And, just to reiterate, we homeschool! I'm not even DEALING with back to school nights and supply lists and teacher communication.
I remember when I was teaching, there were days when I would be driving home at 5:00, and I'd really have to make sure I was alert for the commute home. As in, this is what truckers do when they have an overnight shift, and now this is what I have to do. And since, Adam pointed out, I'm basically teaching AND momming, I really shouldn't be surprised that the September adjustment is wiping me out and leaving me collapsed on the couch once everyone is FINALLY home from all their evening activities.
And it's only getting worse as the girls get older. Madison's dance team is made up of 9-11 year old girls, and we're at the studio until 8 or 8:30 three nights a week. And Reagan is there until 7:45 the fourth night. I don't want to know that the teen years bring.
But I've been a mom long enough, and a teacher longer, and I know that we will all adjust. We'll have weeks where I feel like supermom because I got it all figured out, and weeks where I feel like we just squeaked by, and weeks where I had some fails. And that those weeks are ALL normal, and around October, it'll feel like we've been doing this since the beginning of time.
And what I need to do is...
Plan as much as I can to make things easier.
Set alarms and reminders on my phone.
Rest my brain and body when I can.
Forgive myself.
And most importantly, don't forget that all these new beginnings are as wonderful as they are tiring!
We are only a few weeks into the new school year, and between settling back into homeschooling, and figuring out all the chauffeuring I need to do, and making sure that I know the schedule, who needs to be where, with what, when, and then actually making it happen is running me ragged. Plus, these people seem to want to eat EVERY DAY, and when you homeschool, that means you are making three meals a day happen. And even though they are perfectly capable of making breakfast and lunch, you have to make sure that there is FOOD for that. There is so much to physically DO, and so many places to BE.
And there are checks to be written and forms to be filled out and appointments to schedule. And lesson plans to make and work to be checked. There is so much MENTAL energy exerted that my brain is just tired.
And, just to reiterate, we homeschool! I'm not even DEALING with back to school nights and supply lists and teacher communication.
I remember when I was teaching, there were days when I would be driving home at 5:00, and I'd really have to make sure I was alert for the commute home. As in, this is what truckers do when they have an overnight shift, and now this is what I have to do. And since, Adam pointed out, I'm basically teaching AND momming, I really shouldn't be surprised that the September adjustment is wiping me out and leaving me collapsed on the couch once everyone is FINALLY home from all their evening activities.
And it's only getting worse as the girls get older. Madison's dance team is made up of 9-11 year old girls, and we're at the studio until 8 or 8:30 three nights a week. And Reagan is there until 7:45 the fourth night. I don't want to know that the teen years bring.
But I've been a mom long enough, and a teacher longer, and I know that we will all adjust. We'll have weeks where I feel like supermom because I got it all figured out, and weeks where I feel like we just squeaked by, and weeks where I had some fails. And that those weeks are ALL normal, and around October, it'll feel like we've been doing this since the beginning of time.
And what I need to do is...
Plan as much as I can to make things easier.
Set alarms and reminders on my phone.
Rest my brain and body when I can.
Forgive myself.
And most importantly, don't forget that all these new beginnings are as wonderful as they are tiring!
Tuesday, September 10, 2019
Who Am I Trying to Impress?
Every once in a while, I need to laugh at myself, because my motivation comes from the strangest places.
Last week, we had a babysitter for the first time in a long time.
Sidenote: I miss my regular weekly sitter SO MUCH. So very, very, much. Why do these girls need to grow up and get real jobs?
Anyway, we hadn't had a sitter in a while, because over the summer the bulk of our social calendar ends up being family friendly events, and now that the girls are older, they're much more a part of everything. And now that we needed one, all I could picture was the mess in the girls' bathroom that I hadn't bothered to clean, and the boxes in the living room waiting to be dropped off at consignment, and the homeschool materials that have totally exploded in the dining room. Plus, we'd just been plain BUSY since it was the end of the summer/start of the school year, and I was behind on my regular housekeeping. And suddenly, I was seeing our home through someone else's eyes.
So I cleaned. I cleaned HARD. I cleaned like I was preparing to have both sides of the family over for a full holiday stay. I tidied the LINEN closet, because what if the sitter needed an extra towel? I tidied the basement, because that's where we store extra snacks and drinks, and the sitter would inevitably need to go there. I tidied the hallway, because someone might ask her if our house is cluttered, and she'd tell them, and then they'd judge me. And since we OBVIOUSLY can't eat at a cluttered table, she'd know that our family dinners had become much more casual.
And, in case you are wondering, I did all this for a fifteen year old girl who is totally sweet and unpretentious and probably wouldn't care if a house has some clutter. I remember I had her help Madison clean her room, and all Madison could tell me was that the sitter said that her room was WAY worse.
But yet, I don't feel the same ambition to do all this for my family, who lives here and who I love.
It's like when I make sure my car is looking spotless and smelling great...for the eight and ten year olds that I carpool home from dance.
So clearly, I care deeply about trying to impress teens and tweens who get a quick view of our lives. So, if my family were smart, they'd let me know that I have an acquaintance stopping by. The whole home will be spotless in no time!
Last week, we had a babysitter for the first time in a long time.
Sidenote: I miss my regular weekly sitter SO MUCH. So very, very, much. Why do these girls need to grow up and get real jobs?
Anyway, we hadn't had a sitter in a while, because over the summer the bulk of our social calendar ends up being family friendly events, and now that the girls are older, they're much more a part of everything. And now that we needed one, all I could picture was the mess in the girls' bathroom that I hadn't bothered to clean, and the boxes in the living room waiting to be dropped off at consignment, and the homeschool materials that have totally exploded in the dining room. Plus, we'd just been plain BUSY since it was the end of the summer/start of the school year, and I was behind on my regular housekeeping. And suddenly, I was seeing our home through someone else's eyes.
So I cleaned. I cleaned HARD. I cleaned like I was preparing to have both sides of the family over for a full holiday stay. I tidied the LINEN closet, because what if the sitter needed an extra towel? I tidied the basement, because that's where we store extra snacks and drinks, and the sitter would inevitably need to go there. I tidied the hallway, because someone might ask her if our house is cluttered, and she'd tell them, and then they'd judge me. And since we OBVIOUSLY can't eat at a cluttered table, she'd know that our family dinners had become much more casual.
And, in case you are wondering, I did all this for a fifteen year old girl who is totally sweet and unpretentious and probably wouldn't care if a house has some clutter. I remember I had her help Madison clean her room, and all Madison could tell me was that the sitter said that her room was WAY worse.
But yet, I don't feel the same ambition to do all this for my family, who lives here and who I love.
It's like when I make sure my car is looking spotless and smelling great...for the eight and ten year olds that I carpool home from dance.
So clearly, I care deeply about trying to impress teens and tweens who get a quick view of our lives. So, if my family were smart, they'd let me know that I have an acquaintance stopping by. The whole home will be spotless in no time!
Tuesday, September 3, 2019
Refresher Course
We started school again today.
Fourth and second grade, which means that I'm starting my FIFTH year of "officially" homeschooling. I have to admit, I never thought that I'd be a homeschooling parent, and now, I really can't imagine doing it any other way.
But, since we follow the "traditional" calendar (and I'll get into the "why" we do that another time - needless to say, I have many homeschooling friends who don't do it this way), that means that the first couple of weeks are time for us to get back in the groove of things. During the summer our days are filled, but filled with golf and tennis and swim team. The evenings are filled with dance, there are trips to be taken, camps to attend, and friends to spend long days with. Returning to the "grind", so to speak, is an adjustment.
I've noticed that kids also need "refresher courses" when it comes to almost everything. You think your kids know how to be safe in a parking lot, or how to clean their room, or what's involved in packing a backpack, or what's required in a school day, only to discover, usually unpleasantly, that they DON'T. And you shake your head wondering where you went so wrong, and how these kids are ever going to survive this world.
But like any kids, mine love all the "new" that comes with a new school year. They love picking out their pencils and pens and other supplies, setting up their supply caddies and binders, and flipping through brand new books and workbooks.
And every year, I adjust - slightly - based on the new things I've learned about them since we set up the new stuff last year. And I need to take a little while to give myself a refresher course. How to organize things, what I need to have ready, how far in advance I need to request library materials, and how much prep time things actually take.
I've learned that both girls like to have an official, daily, "to do" list. They want to see what their day looks like, and they want to see what their week looks like. Last year I used a spiral journal, with a page every day. It gave me plenty of room to write, in big, neat letters for Reagan, and slightly smaller cursive letters for Madison, exactly what we were doing that day.
I've learned that, of the five weekdays, I need a minimum of two days where we don't have to be anywhere until the evening, two days that we can do EITHER a morning or an afternoon activity, and only one day we can truly be "out" of the house. This year, we're taking a weekly art class on Tuesday mornings, and our co-op is every Wednesday, alternating between field trips and class days. This meant that I had to turn down a few opportunities, because, I have learned over the past few years, you absolutely can't do everything.
I've learned that Madison works best when she gets up, starts early, and can get the bulk of her work done before lunch. After lunch, she slows WAY down, and if she doesn't start until mid-morning, her chances of finishing are slim. But Reagan needs some time to settle herself in the morning, and she isn't really ready until around 10:00.
When you homeschool, you aren't just learning about math and reading and spelling. You learn a LOT about each other, and every year you get a new refresher course on just who your kids are!
Fourth and second grade, which means that I'm starting my FIFTH year of "officially" homeschooling. I have to admit, I never thought that I'd be a homeschooling parent, and now, I really can't imagine doing it any other way.
But, since we follow the "traditional" calendar (and I'll get into the "why" we do that another time - needless to say, I have many homeschooling friends who don't do it this way), that means that the first couple of weeks are time for us to get back in the groove of things. During the summer our days are filled, but filled with golf and tennis and swim team. The evenings are filled with dance, there are trips to be taken, camps to attend, and friends to spend long days with. Returning to the "grind", so to speak, is an adjustment.
I've noticed that kids also need "refresher courses" when it comes to almost everything. You think your kids know how to be safe in a parking lot, or how to clean their room, or what's involved in packing a backpack, or what's required in a school day, only to discover, usually unpleasantly, that they DON'T. And you shake your head wondering where you went so wrong, and how these kids are ever going to survive this world.
But like any kids, mine love all the "new" that comes with a new school year. They love picking out their pencils and pens and other supplies, setting up their supply caddies and binders, and flipping through brand new books and workbooks.
And every year, I adjust - slightly - based on the new things I've learned about them since we set up the new stuff last year. And I need to take a little while to give myself a refresher course. How to organize things, what I need to have ready, how far in advance I need to request library materials, and how much prep time things actually take.
I've learned that both girls like to have an official, daily, "to do" list. They want to see what their day looks like, and they want to see what their week looks like. Last year I used a spiral journal, with a page every day. It gave me plenty of room to write, in big, neat letters for Reagan, and slightly smaller cursive letters for Madison, exactly what we were doing that day.
I've learned that, of the five weekdays, I need a minimum of two days where we don't have to be anywhere until the evening, two days that we can do EITHER a morning or an afternoon activity, and only one day we can truly be "out" of the house. This year, we're taking a weekly art class on Tuesday mornings, and our co-op is every Wednesday, alternating between field trips and class days. This meant that I had to turn down a few opportunities, because, I have learned over the past few years, you absolutely can't do everything.
I've learned that Madison works best when she gets up, starts early, and can get the bulk of her work done before lunch. After lunch, she slows WAY down, and if she doesn't start until mid-morning, her chances of finishing are slim. But Reagan needs some time to settle herself in the morning, and she isn't really ready until around 10:00.
When you homeschool, you aren't just learning about math and reading and spelling. You learn a LOT about each other, and every year you get a new refresher course on just who your kids are!
