Anticipating Tinkerbell's Visit!

It's time...beyond time...to say goodbye to the pacifiers.

(Even the blue one).

She only gets them in her crib, but the kid is still beyond addicted.

We can't "lose" them, because they stay in her crib and she treasures them. She tucks them away safely so Reagan can't take them. When one drops out of her bed at night, she makes sure to note where it fell and retrieves it first thing in the morning. I tried clipping the tips - she doesn't care. I mentioned that she could tuck them in a stuffed animal (her Scentsy buddy has a zip up back) and she could cuddle the animal. She was not interested, and now refuses to keep her buddy in bed with her.

This is not easy.

Lately, we've been conversationally floating the idea of the "paci fairy". We mentioned that the paci fairy has visited some of her friends who are becoming big boys and girls, and she is taking the pacifiers away for the babies of Pixie Hollow (yes, we went with the obsession. She loves the Disney fairies). As a thank you she is leaving a "big girl toy". We're being pretty casual, but suggesting that this would be really amazing if the paci fairy thought Madison was a big girl.

These girls are running neck and neck with the princesses these days. Honestly, I think I prefer the fairies.

Well, we backed off because Madison started freaking out. She started hiding her pacifiers in her bed and begging us not to let any fairies in the house while she was sleeping. She kept telling us that she did not think it was a good idea if the paci fairy came and she was very afraid she would sneak in and was starting to get nervous. Since she's actually really good about going to bed, we figured that if we didn't stop, we would create a bigger issue. So we stopped. Yeah, yeah, we need to ditch the paci, but sleep is golden.

Tonight, after dinner, we were playing with the girls outside. Madison and Reagan were having a fine time chasing each other and blowing on dandelion puffs to send more fairies to Pixie Hollow.

Once Reagan faceplanted on the driveway and I took her inside, Madison and Adam were arranging some of her toys to make a fairy house.

(insert adorable photo of Madison building a fairy house inside that blogger refuses to upload for some reason. I'll keep trying).

As they were arranging the set up she was talking about who might come visit and she said to him,

"You know, Tinkerbell is coming soon. She needs my pacifier and she has a special present for me".

Adam told me he was totally shocked that she brought it up (and turned this random "pacifier fairy" into Tinkerbell, who she's really into). He was sort of afraid to push, so he just said "oh yeah?"

"Yes. She won't take them all. They're too heavy. She takes one by one and will come three times".

She actually has six pacifiers left. But this is no time for a math lesson.

Adam asked "What kind of toy will she leave?"

"I don't know. A toy for big girls. She can't tell me because she can only jingle. It's ok though Daddy, she won't come tonight".

Then they watched the planes over our house for a little while, came inside, and went to bed.

So to me, this is pretty big. The fact that she's not running screaming when we mention that big girls don't need pacifiers, the fact that she brought up Tinkerbell...she might actually get there.

Motivational posters for toddlers. Now I've seen everything.

It's good news, it's definitely good news. I was starting to get a little concerned that she would be the kid who would be graduating from high school with her pacifier.

But it's one of her last little bits of babyhood. Slowly but surely, all those baby things have been left behind, and she's growing into more of a kid.  It's all good, but it's a little sad to - literally - pack up those last few wisps of my first baby girl.

But I'm coping with a little bit of overachieving moment seizing.  I feel like I need to (subtly) run with this.  I'll pick up a Tinkerbell box she can leave her pacifiers in when she's ready, and I'll need to figure out what the heck this big girl toy is going to be and get it hidden and ready on standby. Then, because I'm crazy, I'll probably go all nuts with a thank you letter from Tinkerbell and some glittery pixie dust to leave behind.

Where on EARTH am I going to find one of these?

I'm really proud that she is coming to terms with this big step. She's taken a "scary" concept and turned it into something she can handle and relate to. She knows that she's not afraid of Tinkerbell, and that maybe it won't be so bad. This thinking really shows she's growing up.

But I will really miss the end of these baby days.

Now that I've put this milestone in writing, I've probably completely jinxed it. I'll go out and buy a box, and stress out about a toy (or three!) and get all prepared and worked up...and she'll decide that no big girl toy is worth the loss of her blue pacifier. And someday she'll walk down the aisle looking like Maggie Simpson. Still, fingers crossed! Pin It

She's Not Playing Right!

The girls got up at 8:45 on Mother's Day. They clearly knew it was a special day for Mommy. I was able to shower, drink my coffee, and relax. It was awesome. 

Actually, all of Mother's Day was awesome. Adam and the girls did a FANTASTIC job of letting me relax and spoiling me rotten. The most stressful part of the day was BRUNCH, and the worst part is that I have to wait another 364 days for another one.

Well, they were back to normal today.  Early rising. Although I love having them run into my bed to cuddle with me, it does make it difficult to drink my coffee in peace. They're pretty needy creatures at the beginning of the day, and getting everyone fed, changed, dressed and packed up for the day doesn't leave a lot of time for relaxed coffee drinking.

I am MUCH happier when I get my coffee. You'd think they'd figure that out.

Today we stayed home. We didn't have any scheduled activities, errands to run, and it was a little chilly for a lot of outdoor play. These days happen occasionally, and they're kind of nice. We can put on a movie, stay in our pjs until we feel like getting dressed, and just play.

The girls are playing together now, which is generally a good thing...until they get on each other's nerves.

Madison is getting increasingly frustrated because Reagan isn't playing "right".

"Right" is defined as "how Madison is playing in that particular moment", not any official sort of ruling. Although Madison seems to feel it's pretty official.

She wants to play with Reagan.

Reagan wants to play with her.

They both want to play the same thing.

This should be easy, right? I can drink my coffee in peace!

Nope.

Tea party?  Reagan wants to hold a cup and spoon. Madison wants to set out all the cups and spoons, get Reagan and all her toys sitting around, and pour tea. Once Reagan picks up a cup it might as well be over.

Dolls? Madison wants to be the mommy and put her "babies" in the high chair, stroller, bathtub, etc. She wants to undress and redress them. Reagan wants to pick them up and carry them around.  That leads to shrieking that Reagan woke all the babies up!

Beans. In the sensory table. No defined way to play at ALL. Still, Madison is getting frustrated that Reagan is scooping and pouring beans the wrong way.

It always starts the same way. Both girls will be playing with something. Madison will pull something out and call "Reagan, come play ______ with me". Reagan will drop what she's doing and run after Madison.

It always ends the same way. Madison screeches "Noooooooooo" like she is being attacked. Then she snatches whatever toy Reagan is holding away. Reagan starts crying and runs over to me.  Depending on the ferocity of the snatching, Madison might end up in time out.

It's one of those catch-22 situations. They want to play together. They want to play with the same thing.

And yet they are at two totally different stages of "play" right now. Playing together is going to frustrate someone. Or more likely, both.

Judging from a friend of mine who has kids with the same spacing, but who are slightly older, this situation will continue to play out for at least another year.

Think anyone would notice if I just take my coffee into the bathroom and close the door?

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The Perfect Mother's Day Gift

Adam and I have been having the "so what do you think you want" conversation for a couple of weeks.

I have always been really bad at specific gift giving ideas.  I never know if I'm asking for too much, or not enough, or being too practical, or not being practical enough.

I know, I should be glad that my husband a) starts thinking about things ahead of time b) doesn't pull any of that "you're not my mother" garbage

and c) really wants to make sure that whatever I get is something I'll really like and enjoy.  I did decide on something and hopefully he'll be able to deliver.

This week, we've been discussing how I'd like to spend the day. Brunch was a given. I love brunch. Adam made the reservation and has promised to take the bulk of the toddler handling during the meal (but let's be honest, no matter whose "day" it is, that's a two man job right now). Now he's letting me decide how I'd like to spend the rest of the day. Do I want a "day off" where I can go out and relax? Do I want to do something as a family?

It feels weird to say "Here's a day that I get for having kids. So I want to be left alone". (I mean, I do want that. I'm not going to lie. Alone time is a beautiful thing right now. I don't know why exactly that makes me feel guilty, but it does).

You know what I really want? What I think a lot of moms want?

I want a day that's filled with only the good parts of motherhood. Just the good stuff.

I want the snuggles.

I want the cute conversation from Madison.

I want that feeling of Reagan burrowing into me as she falls asleep.

I want to watch two happy girls play.

I want a day filled with the moments where your heart swells with love, and pride, and family and you are loving your life. The moments you don't want to end and you want to freeze time.  I don't want to take a day off from that part of motherhood.

And I don't want to deal with all the parts that make me tired, make me cranky, make me short tempered.

I don't want to deal with all those little moments that get irritating.

I don't want to deal with crying, whining, or tantrums.

I don't want to change six poop diapers in one day from a little girls who doesn't like to stop moving long enough to get a change, and sit in the bathroom making conversation with Madison while she poops, then negotiating with her over wiping and washing hands.

I don't want to break up fights over cups, snacks and toys.

I don't want to have to figure out what needs to go in the bag for brunch, pack the bag for brunch, and distribute cups, toys, crayons, and snacks while trying to enjoy brunch.

I don't want to chase a 14 month old around a non-babyproofed location.

I don't want to try and get an almost three year old to end an activity without tantrumming.

I don't want an entire naptime's cleaning effort destroyed in the first five minutes after wakeup.

I don't want to wrangle two kids in and out the car.

I don't want to work to get them to sleep.

I want a day with none of that frustrating, exhausting stuff, where you feel a lot more like a servant to your offspring, cleaning up and meeting their needs, than a family member.

True story: a few days ago I was scrubbing the kitchen floor - literally hands and knees, sponge and bucket, deep clean scrubbing (that I do about once a year) - and Madison came into the kitchen after her nap and said "Mommy! You are just like Cinderella cleaning my castle!". Wow. Way to put me in my place. I mean, I know things work out great for Cinderella, but she didn't tell me I looked ready for the ball. She basically said I looked like a decent maid.
 
But the exhausting daily trials and the good parts go together. The sweet parts wouldn't feel so sweet if you weren't exhausted by upkeep of two little ones. And you could never talk anyone into dealing with all that frustration if you didn't have the sweet moments to balance it out.




I don't know that those days will ever exist.

So I guess I'll take brunch, some time to myself, and the luxury of knowing that I can pass a bigger portion of those "don't want" things onto Adam for the day.  That sounds pretty perfect to me.

OH....and one more thing.

I don't want the "mother's day hangover" either.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms who read and follow! Having readers who are not related to me who follow, comment, and share this blog is an awesome gift that keeps giving all year long. No matter where we are, no matter what stage or phase we're in, it is comforting to know that none of us are truly alone!
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Allergies? Cold? How Can You Tell?

I spent the entire day wiping noses today.

Saturday evening we spent about four consecutive hours outside. It was a perfect spring day. When the girls woke up from their naps we started playing on the playground. We took a wagon ride down to see our neighbors' horses, and visited the farm behind us to say hello to the goats and chickens.

We grilled steak and veggies and ate dinner outside. Afterward Adam and I took turns cleaning up and playing catch with Madison and teaching Reagan to throw and kick.  We picked tiny little purple flowers and blew dandelion fluff all over the yard (sending many new fairies to Pixie Hollow).

Once the girls started melting down over silly things, we took them inside, gave them a bath, and put them to bed.

By midday Sunday, both girls were congested, red eyed and drippy. And I was fighting the itchy eyes/nose/throat.

I think we're all in the midst of the allergy fog.

At least I think we're dealing with allergies.

That's the problem right now. I know that the itchiness is a good sign for me that I'm dealing with allergies, and not a cold.

But with the girls, it's tough to tell, because they aren't telling me anything.

Neither of them is acting sick. No fever, no change in appetite, no behavior change. They're rubbing their eyes, they're scratching their noses, they're producing an unbelievable amount of snot, but beyond that, they seem fine.

Change of season cold?  Or allergies?

It's spring, everything is blooming, and all three of us started the day after a long outside day.

Allergies, right?

For me, this is fairly easy. Itchy throat = allergies. And since I'm not pregnant, I'm not nursing, and I can buy medication, I can treat myself. I took a very official Facebook poll this morning before hitting the drugstore, and I popped some Zyrtec with my lunch (all my old allergy meds had expired in the three years where I've either been pregnant or nursing).

So although I hate allergies, I should be ok in a few days, and I can take some meds to clear up the worst of the symptoms in the meantime.

But what to do for the girls? They're not sick, so I don't want to drag them to the doctor and pay double the co-pay to hear that, yeah, they have runny noses. Most doctors won't diagnose allergies this early anyway. I know that people can and do give their kids the children's formulas of OTC stuff, but I don't know what dosages to give them. I did get the OK a few months ago (when we actually were dealing with colds) to give them Benadryl, but so far, not effective.  And because Reagan is so young, the chances of her being able to take anything are pretty slim.

I have to admit, I'm not wishing their baby days away, but I can't wait until OTC stuff is fine for them, when they can articulate what is going on, and when I can actually help make them feel better without a lot of guesswork, trial and error, and frustration.

As for right now, I guess I'll send Madison to school with tissues tomorrow while Reagan and I go in search of some local honey...and see if the nurse line at their pediatrician takes pity on me and suggests a foolproof way to tell, treat, and keep us playing outside without the tissues! Pin It

Buried in Paper

So I'm caught up on the laundry, my car is in decent shape, I'm keeping up with most of the housework, and I'm back to my regular writing schedule. 

However, I realized yesterday that there is a pile of random paper that is going to do me in.

And yesterday, that mystery pile did me in.

I committed a major parenting sin. I talked up an event...and then realized I had the date wrong and got my kid all excited, only to tell her that I was wrong and we were having an ordinary day at home.

I never really tell the girls about fun and out of the ordinary events until the night (or sometimes even the day) before.  Madison is only beginning to get a sense of time. So if I tell her on WEDNESDAY that we're doing something super fun on SATURDAY, she gets excited and asks me about it constantly.

Now?

No.

Now?

No.

Now?

No.

So I don't do it. She finds out what's going on for a particular day on that day. Then she's excited, and she doesn't have long to wait.  No, this won't work forever, and yes, there's something fun about anticipation, but right now, this is what works.

Anyway, Friday night, I told that Saturday was going to be a really fun day! We were going to a birthday party!  She was so excited! She woke up Saturday ready to party.

The issue was...I couldn't find the invitation. I was pretty sure it was in the early afternoon, and I knew the place, but I could not remember what time it started.  Adam had been asking me about it, since it was still up for debate as to whether or not I'd be bringing Reagan. If I didn't, he'd have to come home from golf in time. When he left, I still hadn't found the invite. I still wasn't concerned though. I just told him not to worry about it, and if it was on the earlier side, I'd just bring Reagan.

The morning went on and my search through the piles still was proving fruitless. Finally, I admitted defeat, and emailed a friend of mine who I knew was also invited.

Success! She was happy to hear we were going, and let me know the correct time.

And then she clarified that the party was on Sunday. 

Whoops.

So here I am, completely at fault, and dealing with a very disappointed almost three year old, who isn't great at delayed gratification. She was sad, she was mad, she was in denial. I reminded her that we were still going, that the birthday party was still happening, but it was just one more day of waiting.

She did settle, and we made sure to do some fun things at home, she was just as excited about the party today and had a great time, but I felt bad. Not because she had to wait, but because it truly was my fault. And it was something that could have easily been avoided if I had been on top of all the paper that seems to come into my house.

Coupons, bills, invitations, magazine clippings. Things to write the on the calendar, things to pay, things to file, things to toss.  For an increasingly paperless society, we still get a ridiculous amount of paper coming in.

I thought I had a good system. We throw away most junk mail as it comes in. Most of our bills are online and we try to keep most things electronic. Bills that we do get go into the tote bag that I carry around for when I get a moment (and yes, those get dealt with).

But I'm bad at the rest of our plan. The plan seems pretty good. I have a folder for coupons to clip, a folder for stuff to file, a folder for paperwork I need to complete, a folder for things to add on the calendar.

Then I get busy and just put it on my desk, to be put into the correct folders as soon as I get a moment.

And then I build my three year old up and let her down because I am still missing that invitation.

Tomorrow I'll tackle Mount Paperwork (hey, if I can conquer Mount Laundry, I should be able to handle this).

And I'll continue lusting after this.

The NeatDesk. I lust after it every time the infomercial airs (and yes, I know it's basically just a $400 scanner. Shut up. It looks like it would make all my piles magically disappear).

And if anyone has any other magical solutions for keeping all the paper organized, I'd love to hear them!

Hey NeatDesk, I am TOTALLY available for product reviews. I know you market yourself toward business, but I think you've got an untapped Mom market in need of your organization! Pin It

Things That Made My Toddler Angry Today

Disclaimer: Madison is typically a really happy kid. She didn't nap yesterday and woke up early this morning, making for a VERY overtired little girl. She's napping now, and I think she'll be much less moody when she wakes up. That, or we're at that beautiful time where she is showing both terrible 2 and trying 3 year old behavior. 

Madison was crabby this morning. These days don't happen often, but when they do....look out. You never know what's going to make her mad and send her to her "crying place" (not her time out spot, but the place she goes when she gets mad) saying "I'm leaving!".

In case you are ever in charge of an almost three year old, and want to push their buttons, here is what I found worked very effectively today.

She had to pee on the green potty instead of the princess potty.

We really just need a second princess seat. The green potty is upstairs and CLEARLY inferior.

Reagan sat on her chair (while Madison was sitting on Reagan's chair).

They have the SAME CHAIR. The only difference is the name.

I made waffles from scratch this morning instead of the box in the freezer.

I took out the iron and she was crying. Mind you, we have these about once a week.

The painted on door to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse playset doesn't open (and has never opened).

She was DEMANDING I open the door and did not believe me when I demonstrated that it didn't exist.

I drank a cup of coffee.

Sorry kid, when you are this cranky, Mommy needs coffee (and I think I need this mug!)

I wouldn't put new batteries in her water bottle (yes, you read that right).

I was having about as much success with this as I was with the door on the clubhouse.

She asked for Snow White music in the car, and I played...Snow White music.

Turned out she meant Tiana. I need my mind reader re-tuned.

 I mean, come on, these are all issues deserving of massive angry crying fits, right? I'd be really annoyed if someone had the nerve to make waffles and sip their coffee while refusing to properly battery power my water cup and perform an instant remodel on my toys.

What worries me is...if she's this moody now, what on earth am I going to do with teenager Madison?

What things have YOU done to irritate your kids lately?

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Condescending Mom v. Judgmental Mom...I Think We Have a Winner!

Last time we were at the mall (ahem, festival), shopping for Madison's new seasonal wardrobe (she's fancy like that) I almost picked up a new mom friend, but chickened out.

Today we went back to the mall, not to buy clothes, but because I actually realized I overbought t-shirts for Madison, and I needed to return a few "filler" pieces.

I got to chat with another mom while waiting in line at Old Navy and realized she was the kind of mom I would not want to pick up.

The Condescending Mom

I thought that on my list of "mom types to avoid", that the number one type was "Judgmental Mom".

Don't get me wrong, I'm still not putting those moms on top of my friends list, but today's condescending mom was so obnoxious, I think she may have pushed her category into a tie for first.

I had both girls in the double stroller and was chatting with them - just silly stuff - as we waited our turn. There was a surprisingly long line and only one person working up front, and every customer seemed to have an issue. Reagan was babbling away and Madison was doing her best to make her laugh.

Finally, we weren't last in line. A woman joined the line pushing a little girl.  Madison is unbelievably outgoing and friendly and gregarious, and she'll not only chat with me, but she'll chat with anyone in sight.

So naturally when she saw the woman standing there with her little girl, she immediately said

"Hi! My name is Madison. What's your name? Who's your baby?"

At first the woman was completely friendly and chatted with Madison. She introduced Madison to her baby (Anna), who was pointing at Reagan saying "Baby!"

The woman said to her child, "oh yes, but she's just a little baby! You are my big girl!"

So of course, friendly person as I like to think I am, told this seemingly friendly mom that her daughter was adorable (she was) and asked how old she was.

Turned out she and Reagan were only days apart!  The woman was visibly shocked.

First, I thought it was just that she reacted like most people do. Reagan is by no means unhealthy, but she is pretty tiny. Often people think she's younger than she is. That doesn't bother me. Nothing wrong with being petite.

Then she told me that she never would have guessed Reagan was 14 months old, because "she hasn't said a single word! Does she talk at all?"

Reagan babbles constantly. She has a lot to say, but so far, not much that anyone can understand. I really wouldn't count her as having any words. She's not an early talker like Madison was. But in a lot of ways, she's the classic second child. Crazy motor skills to keep up, later verbal skills because the first one talks for her. I'm not concerned, Adam isn't concerned, the pediatrician isn't concerned.

But this mom was very concerned. And very condescending. You'll have to imagine her tone, because I can't replicate it in writing. But picture someone trying hard to sound humble/helpful/sympathetic/simpering....I don't know. Honestly, it was like a cartoon version of condescending. I'm not doing it justice in my description. So use your imagination.

First, she apologized profusely.

I must have looked confused, because she started listing all the woes that would befall a 14 month old who wasn't saying single, understandable, words (which, again, is not something we are concerned with. According to our pediatrican, if at 18 months she has NO words, we can consider the idea of maybe needing speech).

She'd be a delayed reader!

She might develop behavior issues from being unable to communicate her needs!

She may have undiagnosed hearing disorders and was silently suffering!!!

And on and on.

(Seriously Old Navy, could this line be moving any slower?)

Then, because I was woefully unaware of how serious the situation was, she began to give me some super helpful tips. With a really concerned face and an attitude that seemed to indicate that she needed to step in and help this poor family before it was too late!

You know, I think the reason Anna is so advanced (Really? Advanced? I am sure she is sweet and smart and wonderful, but I've heard one word) is that I really make an effort to talk to her.  I talk to her all day! Maybe YOU could try that! You would be AMAZED!

Since at this point I had relegated her to blog fodder (hey, thanks for the topic!), I didn't follow my instincts and shut her down. I really wanted to see how far she'd go. So I merely raised my eyebrows.

I mean, obviously your older daughter caught up. She's SOOOOOO cute by the way! Maybe you could try the same things with your baby? If you can remember what you did to encourage her to talk?  Do you think you talked to her? I know it was a few years ago.

Huh. Wonder how old she thinks Madison is.

You can talk to her about anything! You don't need to worry about thinking of what to say! I tell Anna everything! Like, when we get dressed I tell her what she's wearing! And when she eats I tell her what she's eating! Oooh, wait, do you play with her? You can tell her what toys you are using! And did you know that babies like books??? They do! I probably read a book every day!

I had to stop her, since luckily, it was my turn and I could focus my attention elsewhere. As I did my return - which was thankfully easy - she took it upon herself to talk to my poor, neglected child.

(Ok, you're going to need to hear that voice again. Now, add "super fake wide eyes overly enunciated and slightly manic" to whatever voice you were using before).

Hiiiiiiii. Hi! Hi! Hi! Baaaaaay-beeeeee. Baaaay-beeeee.  That's you!  Yoooooooou! See Mama! Maaaa-maaaa!  Maaaa-maaaa!

Reagan is not into strangers, and this woman was being so over the top that Reagan had stopped her babbling, smiling, and playing. She wasn't crying, but she was staring warily. Madison is meanwhile watching this with fascination. She looks at the woman like she's insane (thatta girl).  The woman noticed and starts gesturing toward Madison.

Oh! Your sister is a biiiiiiiig girl! Sissssss-ter!!! Can your sissssss-ter talk to you? Maybe your biiiiiiig sister will talk to you?

Now my return is done, so I smiled and told the woman to have a nice day (again, silently thanking her for providing me with such awesome blog fodder).  It was her turn now, so I figured her parenting lesson and language tutorial was over for the day. She could go home feeling like she'd really made a difference in the world by doing such a good deed.

But nope.

Just remember! Don't wait for school to teach her! You're her mommy! You have the most important job in the WHOLE WORLD!!!! Don't think of it as hard! Love it!

Wow.


We HAVE a winner!

By the way, I'm aware I have been a HORRIBLE blogger recently. For some reason I have had a really hard time getting the time to sit down and WRITE. I really don't like writing in short spurts, and big chunks of time when I'm not exhausted have been tough to find. But now that I'm actually caught up, I HOPE I'm back on track. If you miss hearing stories here, you can always check me out on Facebook! I usually have a moment to share a funny link or two! And don't give up - I have at least two great giveaways coming up soon!


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