Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Difference a Day Can Make

You'd think that being a stay-at-home mom, with a work-at-home husband, of two little girls who aren't in school, would mean that all seven days of the week seem the same. No reason to jump up and down on Friday, no need to dread Monday. Yes, Adam goes upstairs to his office on weekdays, and our daily activities change, but the girls wake up at the same time, go to bed at the same time. There isn't much of a difference.

Except that I have a second set of hands on weekends. Adam might do some work, but he's not shut up in his office.

And I get some "time off" on weekends.


This weekend, Adam played in a golf tournament. 27 holes on Saturday, 18 on Sunday. Plus a kickoff cocktail party on Friday night. That's a lot of golf time.

Now he normally golfs at least once a weekend, so I didn't think much of this when he told me about it. I knew he started in the morning, so I figured he'd be done a little after lunch, as usual.

Yeah, I need to remember. Tournaments are different. I lost him for both entire days. We saw him leave at 7:30 in the morning and not again until dinner. Just like we do during the week when he's shut up in his office.

Again, it's fine. The girls and I went over to the pool, he met up with us there when he was done, and we had dinner there both nights, saving me from cooking, which was appreciated.

But I didn't get my "me time".

And today I realized that losing that time is what is throwing me off this week. I'm tired, my temper is shorter, I haven't been motivated to pull out any real "activities" with the girls. It's not them. They've been fine, they've been napping well, they've been happy. It's me.

All day today I've been saying "How is it only Tuesday???"

I mentioned my revelation to Adam at lunch today, and I know he felt bad because he immediately said that he was hoping that I'd take extra time this weekend; either go out for longer than I usually do, or take time both Saturday and Sunday.

This was the confirmation I needed that taking time for myself every weekend really does make me a better mom. That "me time", that selfish solo time, revitalizes me, recharges me, and makes me a happier mom during the week.

The universe realized I needed this confirmation too.

Note: Tangent starts here. Feel free to skip the next two paragraphs.

Back in January and February I was writing for the Circle of Moms roundup. I had two articles published on their site, and had a third approved. But the day after I got notification that the third had been approved and would be published, I got another email, saying that Circle of Moms was merging with PopSugar. During the transition they'd be looking at their blogger programs. So they wouldn't necessary be publishing anything they'd received recently, and wouldn't be accepting new submissions for the time being.

I was really upset for a few reasons. First, it was the first (and only) "big" site to take a chance on a new, small audience, writer like me. Second, it took away a reach that I really needed to grow. And third, I really liked that final article I'd submitted!  Anything I wrote for them that was accepted was theirs, so I couldn't post it here. But they weren't posting it either. It just felt like I had this post I really liked sitting in limbo. But after a few months, I got over it. I chalked them up as a lost cause, that post as something that just disappeared into the internet abyss.

Tangent over.

Today I got an email from Circle of Moms. Featuring my article! The article I thought was lost in some database somewhere, gone forever, was up on their site!

The topic?

Why taking time away from my family makes me a better mom.

Thank you Universe. Message received, and I will cherish every moment of my time this weekend.

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