Saturday, November 10, 2018

Hard Decisions

A few days ago a friend posed a question to me. Her in laws had been planning on taking her three kids for a weekend in December. ANY mom knows that this is absolutely amazing. A kid free weekend in December? Time to shop and wrap and decorate without excited and nosy kids underfoot? Yes, please!

Anyway, she was chatting with them and found out that, among the plans they'd made for her three kids, was a "mystery drive". Her suspicion was that it was some sort of holiday lights trip, the kind of thing that kids love. Then her mother in law mentioned that her father in law would be taking the lead on that. And she realized that he was the one doing all the driving. Which would be fine...except that he'd been having an issue with his blood pressure dropping. And when it drops, he faints.

She brought up the issue, and only succeeded in alienating herself from both her in-laws as they were extremely insulted that she had expressed concern at all. He had been driving for YEARS with a clear record, he was FINE, and how dare she ask?

So now, as the weekend draws closer, she's beginning to freak out. Her kids will be in a car, secured in car seats, but with a driver who may or may not pass out if his blood pressure drops.

Now, I don't know his medical history of course. I don't know if he's talked to his doctor about driving. I do know that, if he's like most people, the idea of losing his driving privileges is something he doesn't want to consider, so he'll want to consider himself completely fine to drive. And it's probably something his wife and son don't want to bring up to him, because they know it will be an awkward conversation.

I remember dating my first boyfriend in high school. He had a seizure disorder, and had to go a minimum of six months without a seizure before they'd even consider letting him start the process to get a license, and I know how much that bugged him. In our year of dating, and even afterward when we were friendly, it never happened. I can't imagine how much that would frustrate a teenage boy, but I also know that he never hid the issue from anyone. It was just something that he had to deal with. It stunk, but his doctor talked him through the risks. Having a seizure behind the wheel would be a major issue.

So now, because the family doesn't want to talk through the hard decision, she had to make it herself. To avoid a family fallout right before the holidays, she's allowing them to go, but she will be a wreck all day.

Hard decisions are so hard. I honestly can't say what I'd do in her shoes.
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